Coping with bipolar medication side effects is not easy. If you’re here, you might find yourself newly diagnosed with bipolar disorder, wondering what lies ahead. Alternatively, you may have been navigating the maze of finding the right medication and grappling with its potential side effects. While I don’t have the answers for your personal situation, I can share my story. We’re in this together.
Where it All Began
Ever since I was in high school, I started to experience manic and depressive episodes. I’d be making crazy, wild decisions one weekend and wishing I was dead the next. As I got older, these experiences didn’t go away, and in fact, they got worse. However, I never thought I’d be sitting here writing an article on coping with bipolar medication side effects.
It was when I was 24 that my doctor proposed to me that I might be bipolar. I was on a telehealth visit with him listing all the reasons I thought I might be autistic. I was just searching for any reason that I am the way that I am. Then he asked me, “Have you ever considered that you might be bipolar?”
Simultaneously, the weight of the diagnosis crushed me, and the diagnosis freed me. I don’t want to be bipolar. I don’t want to rely on medication for the rest of my life. At least now I understand why I am the way that I am.
Starting Medication
That same day, my doctor told me to come into the office and pick up samples for Vraylar. You may have seen the commercials for it. Vraylar treats bipolar type I disorder and depression.1
Shortly after my doctor prescribed Vraylar, my doctor also prescribed me Lexapro. It did help me; however, I suffered a very common side effect from the Lexapro – weight gain. Dun dun DUN!
In the two-three months that I took Lexapro, I gained around 20-25 pounds. Now, of course that’s not DRASTIC, but it has definitely been enough to fuck with my self-esteem. I weighed 145-150 pounds for several years throughout high school and beyond, and I had pretty much always been a chunky kid.
A few years back, I cleaned up my diet, started running, and shed those pesky 20 pounds without even really thinking about it. Since then, I had maintained my weight to be anywhere between 115-130 pounds without much thought. I don’t count calories, I don’t track what I eat, and I workout when and how I feel like it. Sometimes I would workout 5-6 times a week, and sometimes I wouldn’t workout for a month or so at a time. It just depended upon my schedule and how I was feeling.
I told my doctor when I started taking medication that the last thing I wanted to do was gain weight. My doctor assured me not to worry, but of course, I gained the weight back.
Besides the weight gain, I was also experiencing sexual dysfunction. I’ve generally always had a pretty healthy appetite for sex, so to all the sudden feel like an unwilling robot was jarring. It was extremely difficult to reach orgasm, I was dry, and I just didn’t want to have sex anymore.
Switching Medications
When I noticed that I had gained the weight, I immediately booked an appointment with my doctor and asked him to take me off the medication due to the sexual dysfuntion and weight gain. However, instead of taking me off the medication, my doctor switched my prescription over to Trintellix (Vortioxetine) which is not an SSRI, but works similarly to one. Learn more about the medication here.
Nausea
After starting Trintellix, I also had to be prescribed a prescription nausea medication called Ondansetron due to the extreme nausea I experienced. For most people, the nausea is supposed to subside after a couple of weeks, but mine never went away. After about two months on Trintellix, I still experience nausea if I don’t take my nausea medication.
Weight
I also have been struggling with my stagnating weight. It seems that all the weight I gained has just stuck to me. I was not coping with my bipolar medication side effects.
Trintellix is not supposed to have the same effect on your weight that SSRI’s can have, so I figured that I should be able to drop the weight as easily as I did before, that week after week I would see the pounds dropping off, but alas, I have not, and not for a lack of trying. I started running again, I have been going on daily walks, and I have been eating mostly rather clean. I’m at the point where I’ve considered starving myself or bulimia in order to deal with this weight, but 1. I don’t have the willpower to starve myself and 2. I want to lose the weight in a way that is healthy for my body and sustainable.
Maybe I’m extremely vain. Plenty of people have told me I look fine, that they can’t even notice the weight gain. It all goes in one ear and out the other. I know I probably shouldn’t care so much about how I look, and I know I still look good, I had just worked so hard before to look GOOD, and to have it ruined by a fucking medication has me FUCKED in the head.
Sex Drive
Besides the weight aspect, I also have been unable to orgasm and feel pleasure. Fuck that. I’m able to get horny, but I’m not able to finish. I’d rather not have any sex drive at all than be horny all the time without any way to do anything about it!
Moving Forward
For now, I am going to finish my month’s supply of my medication (which costs about $400 by the way), and I am going to get in with my doctor again to see about getting off my medication. I know that this is not recommended for someone who is bipolar, but I honestly believe that I am at a point that I could function without medication. I did it before. There’s also the possibility that I might not even be bipolar. Maybe I have just experienced trauma after trauma, and I didn’t handle it well.
Lifestyle
I am not drinking anymore. I used to drink rather heavily and to excess frequently. One time I drank so much that I fell asleep in my neighborhood down the street from my house and woke up with the cops standing over me. Would not recommend. To be honest, I don’t really have the desire to drink anymore after fully realizing the negative impact it has on my mental health and my physical health.
I think as long as I stay sober, exercise daily, and maybe take some psychedelics once a month or so, I should be able to regulate my mental and emotional state in a way that I can continue to be a functional adult without relying on pills that inhibit my sexual and emotional health. Sure, I feel fine on the medication. I’m not going off the rails. But, I am being pained daily by my self-image and sexual health.
I’ll keep posted on my experience trying to get the weight off and my experience trying to handle my mental health. For now, I wish everyone struggling with mental health issues the best of luck in their endeavors to find treatment. In no way am I trying to encourage people that need their medication to survive to stop taking their medication, this is simply my experience and my struggle. Coping with bipolar medication side effects isn’t easy, but if you are a danger to yourself or others without medication, please do not stop taking your medication!
Bonne santé!
P.S. Click here if you are interested in some free ways to get in shape this summer, and click here if you are interested in how I ate vegan on a budget of $200 a month for 2 people.